By Moneer Elmasseek.

Originally conceived as showreel material to showcase my range of accents while portraying someone unhinged, the project evolved into a short horror film with an official online release. Scroll below to read the script or click here to watch the finished film.

Camera fades from black onto Robert, a man casually dressed reading a newspaper under a tunnel/ bridge. He looks up briefly and sees Kevin, dressed smartly with a bowler hat and shades some distance away, he disregards him. Soon he looks up again and sees Kevin this time closer, still staring at him, like a 1950s detective. Robert looks on, slightly more concerned but then returns to his paper. He then looks awkwardly one last time to see Kevin facing away from him, he rolls his eyes and goes back to his paper. We then see Kevin creepily appear from behind Roberts side. Robert flinches when he sees him. Kevin speaks in a deep Texan accent with a smile only a mother could love.

Kevin: What’s your name boy?

Robert: …Robert?

Kevin: Well isn’t that fine and dandy, service commencing.

Robert: What do you mean?

Kevin: I pride myself with being held to contract.

Robert goes to leave, Kevin blocks with his hand. Robert looks confused with a hint of fear.

Robert: What are you doing?

Kevin: I want to show you my world!

Kevin grabs Roberts face and turns it to face outwards.

Kevin: Do you see the butterflies?

Robert looks back to Kevin.

Kevin: Silence isn’t an answer.

Robert slowly nods his head.

Kevin: …its all a lie…they don’t even taste like butter.

Robert: Oh my god…

Kevin brings Roberts face back to him. He sniffs deeply.

Kevin: Can you smell that little man?

Robert:..Yes?

Kevin: That’s my flatulence.

Pause, they look at eachother.

Kevin: …I have to admit you’re awfully committed to this.

Robert: Committed to what?

Kevin slowly releases Robert. Ponders for a second, changes his accent to RP.

Kevin: Oh I see you ordered the bashful Brit not the terrible texan, gosh golly what a pigs ear of it all.

Robert: Can I go now?

Kevin: Oh come now Mr Heard, you even paid in advance. I enjoy the theatrics…

Robert: Wait what? Who’s Mr Heard?

Kevin: That’s your last name isn’t it? Mr Rob Heard.

Robert: I said my name is ROBERT. My last name is smith.

Suddenly Kevin completely changes, he takes of his hat, looking concerned, the act is dropped.

Kevin: …you didn’t order a creepergram?

Suddenly a voice from aside makes them both look around and see Rob Heard, a man similar in appearance to Robert but far more annoyed.

Rob: I did.

Kevin looks between both of them, embarassed.

Kevin: Ah, Mr Heard, Well…erm…you see the thing is…

Rob: You’ve ruined my moment.

Robert: I honestly…

Rob: Come on! And if you think you’re getting any more than 2 stars for this you’re mad.

Kevin looks awkwardly at Robert, he walks away but turns back briefly.

Kevin: Sorry about the confusion mate, happens to all of us right?

Kevin awkwardly laughs. Robert doesn’t. Kevin hands him a business card, “Kevin Barry, professional creepergram. Book your session today”.

Kevin: I’m available for weddings, funerals, bar mitzvah’s, childrens parties…well not children’s parties.

Rob calls from a distance.

Rob: One star!

Kevin hurries away.

Kevin: You can subscribe to my only…ah never mind.

Robert looks on, in disbelief at what he’s just experienced. He then slowly walks away.

End.